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00:00:09,030 --> 00:00:10,810
Attention. Attention, please.

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00:00:11,190 --> 00:00:18,010
I am the principal, Willis DeWitt, for
the benefit of those of you who haven't

3
00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:21,050
bothered to attend a single PTA meeting
in the past four years.

4
00:00:21,510 --> 00:00:23,030
No, no, hold it!

5
00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:28,730
My mom wouldn't miss my graduation for
the world! And she's in that darn

6
00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:29,730
bathroom again!

7
00:00:31,110 --> 00:00:32,650
I don't know you very well.

8
00:00:36,110 --> 00:00:38,430
She's pregnant? I mean, you see, my
dad... Never mind.

9
00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:39,890
Go away.

10
00:00:40,010 --> 00:00:43,310
I just didn't want to arrive late and
create a scene. We are not going to

11
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a scene.

12
00:00:46,310 --> 00:00:47,950
Why is everyone staring at us?

13
00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:49,190
Oh, it's your imagination.

14
00:00:49,810 --> 00:00:53,790
I'm sure you all recognize Maggie Malone
from the Channel 19 News.

15
00:00:56,010 --> 00:00:58,630
Here's four seats if we can get this old
lady to move.

16
00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:04,830
Go, let's go, let's go. Take them
quickly. Then stop yelling.

17
00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:08,680
Excuse me, would you mind moving down?
My wife would love to sit on the aisle.

18
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:09,860
We heard.

19
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,560
Comfy? Uh, yes.

20
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:28,800
Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered
here today in the Elizabeth Long Diddle

21
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:34,120
Memorial Auditorium to pay tribute to
the Dewey High School class of 1988.

22
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:38,950
And here are your Hooters, standing tall
and proud.

23
00:01:56,370 --> 00:02:00,250
I did it. I actually did it. I actually
made it through this school.

24
00:02:00,770 --> 00:02:03,430
No, no, I didn't say that. I don't want
to jinx it.

25
00:02:03,930 --> 00:02:07,390
He did it. My baby actually did it.

26
00:02:08,050 --> 00:02:11,350
Mike, you actually made it through high
school.

27
00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:13,690
Wow. He did it.

28
00:02:14,130 --> 00:02:16,310
I didn't think that. I don't want to
jinx this.

29
00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:18,810
I hate this weenie suit.

30
00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:41,880
Thank you, Mr. Bowser.

31
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:46,440
The Hooter Madrigals have never
sounded... sweeter.

32
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,680
And I wish you well at your new school.

33
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:55,140
I'd like to present to you the student
body president, Richard Sebald.

34
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,520
Mr. Versuccio in detention.

35
00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:14,100
Past Hooters.

36
00:04:14,740 --> 00:04:16,019
Future Hooters.

37
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:17,860
Carrot Hooters.

38
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,320
Welcome.

39
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,340
Four score and several years ago.

40
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,640
My baby's graduating.

41
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,340
Where did the years go?

42
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,840
In the resulting millennium.

43
00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:37,500
Turn your head just a little. All right,
now both of you smile.

44
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:41,830
Honey, Mike, he's only a week old. Do
you really think that... Maggie,

45
00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:44,870
he was smiling perfectly. Don't talk.

46
00:04:45,390 --> 00:04:48,270
Oh, honey, you're going to have to be a
little patient with your dad. He's never

47
00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:49,310
been a father before.

48
00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:51,430
Mikey, say cheese, Mikey.

49
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:52,629
Hurry, Jason.

50
00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:56,850
I want to get just the right expression
on his little... Oh,

51
00:04:57,790 --> 00:04:59,670
Maggie, you yawn.

52
00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:01,670
I'm sorry, Jason.

53
00:05:02,310 --> 00:05:04,970
Oh, baby, I'm sorry to put you through
this.

54
00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:07,630
All right, I've got lots more film.

55
00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:11,540
You know, he was smiling perfectly in
every shot.

56
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:16,220
Jason, he was not. He was. He's a
smiler. He takes after his mom.

57
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,760
Sweetheart, babies his age do not smile.

58
00:05:19,180 --> 00:05:22,240
No? Well, then why did it look like he
was smiling in every shot?

59
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,480
He has gas.

60
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:27,180
Like I said, he takes after his mom.

61
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:28,500
Oh, Jason.

62
00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:32,260
That was just a little joke just to get
the right expression.

63
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,200
Oh, Jason, there's a baby in our room.

64
00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:44,460
I'll call the police.

65
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,660
Here comes Mommy.

66
00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:53,960
Honey, if only you weren't
breastfeeding. Boy, I'd sure like to

67
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,200
I know, too.

68
00:05:56,260 --> 00:05:58,320
Hey, little guy.

69
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,640
You ready for your midnight snack?

70
00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:03,020
Oh,

71
00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:05,560
I thought so. I thought so.

72
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,080
Yes, I thought so.

73
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,400
Chow down, big guy.

74
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,420
Boy, you're hungry.

75
00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:21,860
Want to know a secret?

76
00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:26,180
I don't mind getting up in the middle of
the night for you at all.

77
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,780
In fact, I kind of like it.

78
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:29,460
Yeah?

79
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:30,900
Surprise me, too.

80
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,140
Don't tell your father. I like him
feeling guilty.

81
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:38,900
My little guy.

82
00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:43,700
Before you know it, we won't be having
these midnight talks anymore.

83
00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:50,070
We'll be going off to kindergarten, then
grammar school, then high school, then

84
00:06:50,070 --> 00:06:52,210
college, then the White House.

85
00:06:55,810 --> 00:06:59,770
In his annual State of the Union address
to the Congress, President Nixon today

86
00:06:59,770 --> 00:07:02,110
promised a speedy end to the war in
Vietnam.

87
00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:03,670
Yeah, right.

88
00:07:05,290 --> 00:07:07,990
Oh, kick me a little, Republican, you.

89
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:20,230
Will I tell your daddy when he gets
home?

90
00:07:20,470 --> 00:07:24,830
The president concluded his speech with
the promise to bring the boys home

91
00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:26,510
before the end of this year.

92
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:28,490
You'd better.

93
00:08:23,390 --> 00:08:24,470
He's great.

94
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:31,250
Ask not what your school can do for you.
Ask what your school can do for your

95
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:32,250
country.

96
00:08:34,049 --> 00:08:35,510
Thank you.

97
00:08:38,570 --> 00:08:40,710
Bob, it wasn't that great a speech.

98
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:45,970
What? What the hell am I applauding for?

99
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:49,590
It doesn't matter. My son is graduating.

100
00:08:57,339 --> 00:09:00,000
Hey, Mikey, Mikey, what are you doing?

101
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,320
Reading.

102
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:04,320
But we don't tear books apart.

103
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,340
No, books are our friend.

104
00:09:07,140 --> 00:09:08,140
I'm sorry.

105
00:09:08,420 --> 00:09:12,480
Okay, then. You come up here, sit on
Daddy's knee, because I'm going to read

106
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:13,500
a story. No.

107
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:18,000
Yeah. Come on, I want you to see what
wonderful worlds there are inside these

108
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000
books. No.

109
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:22,160
No, no, no, no. Shh.

110
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,080
You're going to wake up Carol.

111
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:25,560
No.

112
00:09:26,869 --> 00:09:30,570
Michael, come on. Now, what have you got
against books? I hate them. I want to

113
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,170
play. Hey, but you're going to need
books, you know, for your education.

114
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:37,670
No, I'm not going to school. I'll be
fine.

115
00:09:39,150 --> 00:09:42,630
Okay, but then what are you going to do
to earn a living when you grow up?

116
00:09:43,170 --> 00:09:44,170
Play.

117
00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:49,530
Oh, come on, Mikey. You're going to love
your first day at school.

118
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:53,750
I wish I was old enough to go to school.
Shut up, Carol.

119
00:09:54,070 --> 00:09:55,070
No, yes.

120
00:09:55,850 --> 00:09:57,590
Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, kids, kids.

121
00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:01,050
Mikey, you'll see how much fun it is.

122
00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:03,310
That's what he said when we went to the
dentist.

123
00:10:04,510 --> 00:10:07,810
Come on, now, look over there. There's
another little boy just your age. He's

124
00:10:07,810 --> 00:10:10,470
all dressed up for school, and he looks
so happy.

125
00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:12,870
Oh, come on, Mikey. You're going to miss
the bus.

126
00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:16,110
Dad, Mom, could you let me go to the bus
by myself?

127
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:18,170
I don't want to look like a wimp.

128
00:10:19,010 --> 00:10:22,330
Oh, but, honey, you have to cross the
street, and I just... Oh, sure, Mikey.

129
00:10:23,270 --> 00:10:24,270
Yeah.

130
00:10:24,430 --> 00:10:27,840
Well... Okay, Mikey. Have a great first
day.

131
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:37,040
Help

132
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:45,960
you.

133
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,460
You're fine, honey.

134
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:49,100
Yeah, right.

135
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,599
Stupid name.

136
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,560
Yeah, yeah it is. I hate it.

137
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,120
Mr. Bone?

138
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:10,100
Boney? Bone?

139
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:03,800
you today. I thought about you all the
time. Oh, how was school today?

140
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,260
I must have the best dad on earth.

141
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,640
How was school?

142
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,300
I love you, Dad.

143
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:15,100
Mike, come on. I was asking you how...
Oh, I love you, too.

144
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:16,720
Hi, honey.

145
00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:17,940
Oh, hiya, sweetheart.

146
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:25,000
Mikey, did you tell your dad about your
report card?

147
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:26,660
Uh, oh.

148
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,180
Oh.

149
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:33,680
Go ahead, Mikey.

150
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,480
I love you, Mommy.

151
00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:39,620
Well, that won't work on us, sweetheart.
We aren't stupid.

152
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,260
It worked on...

153
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,980
Thank you for that. A stirring song.

154
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:07,580
Stirring ending.

155
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:17,000
Well, I see no reason to prolong this,
Aggie. I keep our nervous graduates in

156
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,000
suspense.

157
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,080
A diploma.

158
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,200
This is it.

159
00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:29,340
This is it.

160
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,160
This is it.

161
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:32,620
This is it.

162
00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:38,780
If he thinks he's getting this armrest,
he's crazy.

163
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,700
I didn't do it. I didn't touch that
woman. I swear.

164
00:14:14,510 --> 00:14:15,510
Would you hurry up?

165
00:14:17,370 --> 00:14:18,510
Accidents will happen.

166
00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:21,070
I want those diplomas now or you're
gone.

167
00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:23,750
I'm doing the best I can.

168
00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:25,830
Oh, how would you survive if you had to
get a real job?

169
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:28,650
I know.

170
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:30,070
Why don't we have Mr.

171
00:14:30,350 --> 00:14:32,750
Bowser's Hooter Madrigal do another
little ditty for us, huh?

172
00:14:51,860 --> 00:14:55,580
Class, I'll be calling your names in
alphabetical order.

173
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:59,000
Edward, Cornelius, Zeph.

174
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:00,800
Get down here, mister.

175
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:03,680
Cornelius.

176
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:06,940
Zeph.

177
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,960
Now you sit down, mister.

178
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:10,680
Estelle.

179
00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:14,200
Estelle. I thought these were in
alphabetical order.

180
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:15,780
I know you did.

181
00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:21,620
This is just great. Mr.

182
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,640
Zeph, what, do you need an engraved
invitation?

183
00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:36,780
This is the perfect graduation for Mike.

184
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,000
Why?

185
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:39,600
Because it stinks.

186
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:44,740
Carol, you've got something stuck
between your teeth.

187
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:47,020
What? Yeah, and it's really...

188
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:51,870
There's nothing in between my teeth.

189
00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:54,650
So there's nothing in between your ears
either.

190
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:58,030
Fine, the thin mark.

191
00:15:59,190 --> 00:16:00,190
What's this?

192
00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:02,490
For Carol, personal.

193
00:16:02,730 --> 00:16:05,510
P -U -R -S -I -N -A -L.

194
00:16:06,210 --> 00:16:07,310
It's for Mike.

195
00:16:12,630 --> 00:16:17,070
Okay, sucker, you owe me 50 bucks plus
interest from July 4th, 1976.

196
00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:18,830
Mike.

197
00:16:21,550 --> 00:16:23,430
July 4th, 1976?

198
00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:25,530
That's what I said.

199
00:16:28,870 --> 00:16:30,530
Honey, look at the tall ships.

200
00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:33,690
Oh, wow, that's beautiful.

201
00:16:34,190 --> 00:16:35,570
See, Mommy? Daddy's right.

202
00:16:35,790 --> 00:16:37,130
We don't need color.

203
00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:39,110
Thanks, Mikey.

204
00:16:40,070 --> 00:16:44,810
This historic day, President Ford is
mounting the steps of the podium to...

205
00:16:44,810 --> 00:16:45,810
Oops.

206
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,200
No, no, no, not until we finish your
reading assignment.

207
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:57,900
Leave him alone, Carol. Your brother has
a lot of catching up to do this summer.

208
00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,060
Thank you. Come on, Mikey.

209
00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:00,180
Read this line.

210
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:01,740
I hate this book.

211
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,720
Oh, how do you know? You haven't even
read it.

212
00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:05,300
I heard about it.

213
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,060
I'll just wait for the movie.

214
00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:08,980
Mikey.

215
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:10,119
Okay, okay.

216
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:11,400
Don't help me.

217
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:24,400
wag his tail.

218
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,040
Maggie, did you just... I heard her! She
can read!

219
00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:30,920
Four years old and she can read!

220
00:17:31,140 --> 00:17:32,140
It's a miracle.

221
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,300
Oh, it's fantastic!

222
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:38,100
Our little genius. Oh, I've got to go
call Mom and Dad. Yes, I'll get the

223
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,100
for you.

224
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:41,300
Turn the page.

225
00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:43,180
I want to see how it comes out.

226
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:46,000
You've got to make me look bad, don't
you?

227
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:47,460
Yeah.

228
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:49,020
Big deal.

229
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,420
So what if you can read? It doesn't mean
nothing.

230
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:56,080
it does. It means I'm smart and you're
stupid.

231
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:57,880
Oh, yeah? Yeah.

232
00:17:58,140 --> 00:18:01,860
You're never even gonna graduate. I bet
you 50 bucks I do.

233
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,100
Okay, sucker.

234
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:08,840
Let's graduate.

235
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:10,640
Okay,

236
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,920
sucker, you owe me 50 bucks plus
interest from July 4th, 1976.

237
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:16,700
Mike.

238
00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:22,990
Michael Keever.

239
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,410
No way. That's a mistake.

240
00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:29,150
What? What?

241
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:32,590
Should read Michael Keever. Gee.

242
00:18:37,590 --> 00:18:39,850
You did that on purpose.

243
00:18:40,190 --> 00:18:42,050
Well, Michael, do you want to see my
diploma? What?

244
00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:43,710
Oh, sure.

245
00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:46,590
Bonus to bone?

246
00:18:47,630 --> 00:18:48,630
It's me.

247
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:50,610
You have a boner on your diploma?

248
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000
Yeah, it cost extra.

249
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,720
I love Bone. Boner was fine when we were
kids, but it can be a pretty stupid

250
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,120
name. Yeah?

251
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:01,300
Yeah, it is. I hate it.

252
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,360
I mean, Richard's not that bad.

253
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,640
All right. Hey, what about Rick?

254
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:09,500
Rick's the bone.

255
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:10,900
Yeah, I kind of like that.

256
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,780
Of course, my mom's going to have to
change all the tags on my underwear.

257
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,340
Congratulations, ceremony.

258
00:20:08,420 --> 00:20:09,460
No. No.

259
00:20:09,980 --> 00:20:12,660
It can't be all of them. There's got to
be one more.

260
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,340
Let's tell.

261
00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:29,460
Guess I stepped on it.

262
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:31,720
You said it.

263
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:35,880
Michael Aaron.

264
00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:56,650
Oh,

265
00:21:08,830 --> 00:21:12,050
it might be a shame.

266
00:21:36,460 --> 00:21:37,460
and stuff.

267
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,279
Enjoying yourself?

268
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,880
Yeah, I'm just relaxing, Dad.

269
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,640
Yeah, good. Well, you better get to bed.
School tomorrow.

270
00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:21,100
Gotcha.

271
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:24,600
Yeah, well, you know, it's kind of hard
getting used to the idea that all that

272
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:25,680
junk is behind me now.

273
00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:26,900
Well, don't.

274
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,120
What?

275
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,840
Mr. DeWitt called. They've rechecked
your records.

276
00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:33,160
Dad. Gotcha again.

277
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,000
This is fun.

278
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:37,420
Yeah, it's a real hoot.

279
00:22:38,220 --> 00:22:41,820
Well, the truth is you work very hard
and you deserve a rest. That's right.

280
00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:44,900
is your time now to relax and kick back,
have some fun.

281
00:22:45,140 --> 00:22:49,840
Yeah. Especially since the summer
session of Al Flandin Junior College

282
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:50,840
about three weeks.

283
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,060
No, no, no, no, no. You didn't get me
that time, Dad.

284
00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:55,720
Well, that time I wasn't joking.

285
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:56,899
You're joking.

286
00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:58,100
No. No.

287
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,620
Well, um, you know, Dad, I've been
wanting to talk to you about that. See,

288
00:23:04,620 --> 00:23:08,040
know that I told you that I was planning
to go to Al Flandin, but... In the last

289
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,280
couple of weeks, I've been doing some
serious thinking, and, well, I think now

290
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,420
is the best time to let you know about
my decision.

291
00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:14,900
What?

292
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:19,700
Well, Boner and I have enlisted in the
Marines.

293
00:23:21,820 --> 00:23:23,600
Mike, what? Wait a minute. Gotcha.

